Why do we spend so much time trying to prove our happiness to people, who probably don’t care anyway, yet we spend no time building a foundation of hope in God. Why do we work so hard to show devotion to people, who will let you down but has yet to be devoted to the God of infinite chances? Why do we have to put up a front just to be accepted yet we won’t fight for the Father? I’m only asking because I’m curious to know. Think about it. We get so wrapped up in what people think of us that we’ll spend the majority of our time ensuring we ‘post’ better than how we actually live. A person will spend time taking thirty selfies just to get the right one to share. You’ll portray to the world your happiness but in the confines of your home you can’t eat for drinking tears. Always smiling yet dying spiritually. Consistently posting your happy life when it’s far from the truth. In reality, you’re living with a monster but you don’t want the world to know you messed up in YOUR choosing. In reality, you’re one missed check from being homeless but you put up a bold front to keep up with ‘them.’ In reality, your pillow is actually a sponge, soaking up the many nights of tears you’ve cried just to go to sleep. In reality, if your walls could talk. In reality, if the inside of your car could tell the truth. In reality, you’re one pill away from suicide because depression has depressed your faith. Scared to really live because then you’d have to own up to who you really are. Scared to step out of the shadow of your momma because it may break her heart. Scared to live in your truth because somebody may not be able to accept it.
But baby, how’s that working for you? When will you come out of that prison of bondage? When will you take off the mask in order for us to meet the real you? When will you own your truth? Yes, it’s hard but aren’t you tired of running, hiding and being a fraud? Aren’t you tired of painting the picture morning after morning only to have to remove it night after night? Ask yourself this question and then answer it truthfully. What is your reality? In my reality, I am who I am because I know whose I am. I’m a preacher who isn’t accepted by everybody (that doesn’t bother me), a wife whose marriage wasn’t always good, a mother with children who disappoint me occasionally, an adult who took years to build decent credit, from a large dysfunctional family that’ll fight and then eat together in the same hour, a girl who still sometimes curse but will shut down when mad, one whose feelings get hurt easily but you wouldn’t know it, I have tattoos (and want more), I love shoes but don’t like to shop, I’ll give you my last without wanting anything in return, I’m a thick, confident chic though some say it’s cockiness and I love the Lord with my whole heart and I’ll tell a dying world. Yes, I have flaws, plenty of them but they don’t determine who I am. I have a past yet it doesn’t stop who I am now. This is my reality, what’s yours?